Bagging Alice (Standalone) (Babes of Brighton Book 3) Read online

  Copyright © 2018 Laura Barnard.

  First Edition

  The author has asserted their moral right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as the author of this work.

  All Rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, copied, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written consent of the copyright holder, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

  This book is dedicated to my amazing husband Simon.

  Without him this book wouldn’t have got done.

  His constant support, jokes and love make it easy to write love stories.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Epilogue

  Also by Laura Barnard

  Alice

  God, I hate sucking cock. So many girls bullshit about loving it. How can they? Especially when you have an insensitive guy like mine who insists on grabbing hold of my head and pushing me down so far, I think I'm gonna retch.

  It always starts off okay, but then your neck starts hurting and your jaw aches. Plus, there's too much to remember to do. Suck, fist, play with balls, and all while trying not to choke and looking for those tell-tale signs that he’s about to come. I don't swallow. Call me a prude, but the one time I did I thought I was going to vomit. Gross.

  Tonight's no exception. Ted, a guy I’ve been seeing for the last two months, is forcing my head down so low I'd be surprised if his cock doesn't come out of my ear soon. This is Ted all over. He's always pressuring me into doing stuff I'm not comfortable with. Like when he tried to lick my arsehole. How the hell is that supposed to be sexy? I mean do people even do that? And if they do, surely, they have to shower first and discuss their bowel movements? You wouldn't want to go down there if you had a bad curry the night before. Ugh, just imagine. I did not enjoy that at all.

  He's always calling me a prude which is why I loved shocking the fuck out of him by sending him some dirty pics last week while he was away with work. He went down on me twice when he got back. Totally worth the cringey porn-esque poses I tried to pull.

  He hasn't always been a total shit. He's damn hot in bed which is why I think I stay. I mean arrogant twats always are, aren't they? Plus, he's big and burly. I feel protected when I'm around him and I know he'd never let anyone hurt me. A guy once pinched my arse in a club and he tried to bottle him. Yeah, it's safe to say he's the jealous type. Possibly the psycho type too, but maybe that’s what I’m into.

  He rams himself into the back of my throat grunting expletives. Ugh, I'm gonna gag so hard in a minute. My stomach starts to turn on its side, repulsed by the idea of its next meal.

  'Oh, babe, that's it! Take it deep!'

  He thrusts again so hard that my gag reflex instinctively goes into action. Only he keeps me there gagging… I feel my stomach churn, twisting vomit up my throat and before I can say “get your dick out of my mouth”—which of course I can’t because it’s stuffed with his cock—I'm full on vomiting on him. On his penis. I chuck up so bad I see last week’s carrots from my roast dinner. What the fuck?

  I look up at him wide-eyed in horror. He stares back, eyes wide in repulsion. Well, this is embarrassing.

  'What the fuck, Alice?'

  I should apologise. Only... well, vomiting that hard because he's an impatient twat makes me feel anything but apologetic. My throat burns, and my neck is sweaty.

  'It wouldn't have happened if you hadn’t been trying to choke me!’ I scream, like the pushed-to-the-limit woman I currently am. ‘God, why are you such an insensitive arsehole?'

  The vein on his forehead throbs. 'How the fuck are you making this my fault?' He asks with barely concealed rage. 'You just threw up on my junk.'

  Suddenly it dawns on me. What the hell am I doing with this tool? I'm only twenty-six and I'm acting like he's the last Neanderthal on the planet. I can do so much better. Why am I settling? Just because Erica and Brooke are all coupled up doesn’t mean I need to be seeing someone.

  'You know what, Ted? Fuck you. We're over.'

  I stand up and grab my bag.

  'I'd walk you out,’ he scoffs, ‘but you know,' he points bitchily to his vomit covered floppy penis.

  Saturday 6th October

  Alice

  I stare back at the image in front of me feeling numb. No, just numb on the outside. Inside, my stomach has curled up and run the fuck off to Hawaii. How? How could he do this to me?

  I look at myself naked in an embarrassing porn-esque position. I mean I’m butt ass naked. Or more like vagina naked. I mean you can see it. My tits are on show too, but women sunbathe on the beach topless, right? They hardly ever get their vagina out. And you can clearly see my face, pouting like an absolute whore. Above it is written This whore, Alice Watts, dumped my arse after vomiting all over my dick. What a sick bitch.

  How the hell could he have done this to me? I know we broke up, but Jesus we had a good thing going for a while there. I let the guy lick my arsehole. Did that mean absolutely nothing to him?

  Does he hate me that much he can’t see this is horrendously spiteful? Surely, he still holds some respect for me as a human being? Or maybe vomiting on a guy while giving a blowie really does eradicate all of that.

  I read the comments below it.

  On your junk? What a sick whore.

  Looks like she wants it hard, dirty whore.

  What a skank. I’d fuck her like the whore she is.

  I swallow down yet more vomit. Apparently, I’m full of it these days.

  And it goes on like that. According to this, there are over five-hundred-and-fifty similar comments. I suppose that’s the kind of people you attract on a website called Revenge Porn Utopia.

  I just can’t believe it’s happened to me. How could I ever have been so stupid as to trust him? I close the email from Erica. So, this explains why today has been the worst of my life. Why I got sacked from my job at the children’s centre photographing newborns. They said I’d disgraced the company. Why every mother I passed was staring and whispering.

  Another email from Erica pops up.

  Babe, it’s being shared on Facebook. I keep reporting them, but people are seeing it!

  This is a fucking nightmare. As we speak, people are looking at me naked. I feel violated; like I’ve been touched by every single person viewing it. And without my permission. This is seriously fucked up. I’m never going to be able to show my face in
this town again.

  I race home, needing some kind of protection from the world. I start opening my post, anything to take my mind of this for a few minutes. Bills, bills, bills.

  ‘Babe,’ my Barbie doll of a roommate Carly says carefully, approaching me with slow steps.

  I force a smile at her. I can’t stand the dumb cow, but without her I’d never be able to afford this place. And it’s so close to the beach.

  ‘I know it’s probably a terrible time for you right now, what with your vag being on display to the world...’ She’s not known for her tact. Obviously seen it herself then. ‘But I’m moving out.’

  I stare back at her dumbfounded. Is she serious?

  ‘I’m sorry, babe, but I think it’s for the best.’ She wheels out a baby pink suitcase I hadn’t noticed before. She’s already packed?

  ‘How exactly is you moving out with only a day’s notice for the best?’ I snap, hand on hip.

  ‘Sorry, babe. I meant the best for me and Mike.’

  One thing I won’t miss is the way she says babe. It’s so condescending; like she thinks she’s better than me. When the truth is she’s an artificial blonde with fake breasts that I found myself living with after putting an ad in the local paper. And best for her and Mike? She’s only been dating the I-shout-really-loud-when-I-come bloke for a few months.

  ‘So, I’m just left to find a new roommate with no notice?’

  ‘Look, babe. Let’s not pretend we’re besties or anything. Me and Mike have been annoying you these last few months. It only makes sense that I move in with him.’

  I scoff. ‘Sorry, I suppose I just figured you’d have some loyalty and wouldn’t leave me in the lurch like this. How the hell am I going to pay next month’s rent?’

  She closes her suitcase. ‘Sorry, babe. Your problem now.’

  The bitch.

  Monday 8th October

  Alice

  ‘I can’t believe she just left you like that,’ Erica sympathises over lunch the next day.

  ‘Yeah, don’t you have a contract in place or something?’ Evelyn asks, already no doubt googling my rights on her iPad.

  ‘No,’ I sigh, my shoulders slumping pathetically. ‘The rent agreement is in my name. And even if I wanted to move back home, which is obviously a no-go, I’d still have to give them at least three months’ notice because I’m tied into it.’

  Eugh, just the idea of having to move home has my stomach clenching.

  ‘Rubbish,’ Molly says, rubbing my back in soothing circles. ‘But more importantly, people have seriously seen you naked?’ Her innocent wide blue eyes stare back at me hoping for a different answer.

  I gulp down the bile rising in my throat. I look around the cafe wondering who here has seen it. Seen my tits. My vagina. God, it’s mortifying.

  ‘I still can’t believe it. How has my life become such a mess in twenty-four hours?’ I throw my head down on the table dramatically, hoping someone will take pity and buy me a doughnut.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Brooke soothes, rubbing my shoulders. ‘The good news is you have a great body.’ I sit up to glare at her. She smiles cheekily. ‘Plus, I told you, I’ve got Nicholas on it. If he can’t take it down no-one can.’

  Nicholas works in IT and is apparently a part-time badass hacker.

  ‘I don’t even want to consider him not being able to.’ The idea that it could be online forever has me shivering in fear. ‘Wait, does that mean he’s seen it?’

  She rolls her eyes. ‘Of course he’s seen it. Most people have.’

  I close my eyes and concentrate on breathing deeply. Nicholas has seen me naked. Everyone has seen me naked.

  ‘So, what are you going to do about a new roommate?’ Evelyn asks, always trying to look at stuff she can fix.

  Probably best to stick to one crisis at a time.

  ‘I’ll have to find a new one. But I need one immediately. I can’t afford to pay this month’s rent on my own and that means I’ll be evicted and get bad credit. Ugh, it’s such a mess! All because Slut Barbie decided to choose bros over her ho.’ I jokingly break down, throwing my head on the table. ‘I was her ho, goddamnit!’

  ‘You were whose ho?’

  I look up to see Tom ‘Manwhore’ Maddens standing above me, his eyes dancing with amusement. God, just what I need, this tool. I didn’t even know he was down from Peterborough.

  I roll my eyes. ‘I’m no one’s ho.’

  Dear God, don’t let Tom have seen the picture. I’ll have to kill myself. There’ll be no other option. None.

  Tom, and Erica’s boyfriend Jack, sit down at the table. Tom leans forward and steals my hash brown, eating it like an apple.

  ‘Hey!’ I bark, trying and failing to snatch it back.

  ‘Sorry,’ he shrugs. ‘I would have stolen some bacon but there isn’t any.’

  ‘She’s a veggie remember?’ Evelyn says with an eye roll.

  God I really hope he hasn’t seen the pictures. The idea of Tom seeing me naked makes me feel ill. I’m half waiting for a meat joke to fly my way.

  ‘How did it go?’ Erica asks Jack, her forehead furrowed with worry.

  He sighs, and it’s only then I notice the slight purplish bags under his eyes. ‘Not so good.’

  ‘What’s going on?’ I ask, looking between the two of them.

  Jack sighs again as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. ‘I spoke to Amber about her attitude towards Erica. She’s still saying you can’t see Esme and that I can’t bring her down here.’

  God, I forgot that his bitch ex was doing that. Esme is Jack’s four-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. She told Erica in no uncertain terms that she was a phase and Jack would soon be moving home to Peterborough.

  Erica puts her head in her hands. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Why the hell are you sorry?’ Evelyn asks her, clearly outraged. ‘She’s the one being an unreasonable cow.’

  ‘That doesn’t stop me feeling shit that he can’t bring his daughter here.’

  Bless Erica. I know she feels terrible regardless.

  He stands behind her, massaging her shoulders. ‘I’m more upset that my daughter can’t spend time with the woman I love.’

  ‘Awww!’ we all chorus, half of us at how sweet they are, half of us at how gross they are.

  I can’t help but find them sickening. Partly because that’s what I want. My other half. My one person to depend on no matter what. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find them. This whole naked thing is going to make me fussier.

  ‘Anyway,’ Tom says, clapping his hands as if to try to pull us all out of our depression. ‘We have some good news for you girls.’

  That’s a way to get all our attention. Even Erica looks baffled, her eyes bouncing from Tom to Jack.

  ‘Guess who’s moving to Brighton?’ he asks with a grin. He beams, pointing two fingers down at himself. ‘This guy!’

  He has to be kidding. That’s the last thing I need. Jack’s dickhead friend hanging around annoying me. Just when I thought this week couldn’t get any worse.

  ‘No way!’ Molly squeals jumping up to give him a hug like the excitable bunny she is.

  ‘So, the job interview went well, then?’ Erica says, punching him on his shoulder. ‘When do you start?’

  He smiles back at her like a proud little boy. ‘Next Monday, but it’s only a temporary contract for the first few months. Apparently I’ve got to prove myself before they’ll sign me up properly. So... I was hoping I can stay at yours until I find a place?’

  Erica’s eyes widen, staring intently at me. ‘Well, this is perfect! Alice needs a new roommate and you’re looking for somewhere.’

  I look back at her as if she’s stupid. Does she honestly think I’d live with this Neanderthal?

  ‘Err, I don’t think so,’ I snort, unable to hide my disgust at the idea.

  Tom’s face falls, his piercing green eyes narrowing on me. ‘Don’t pretend you wouldn’t love to live with me and
play wife, Ice Queen.’

  I fake a physical shudder. ‘I would rather live with anyone than you.’

  ‘But you were just saying how desperate you were,’ Molly says, with a befuddled look on her face. I hate when she acts all dumb and innocent. We all know she’s smart as hell and just plays on that silly blonde thing.

  ‘Desperate for me, are you, baby?’ Tom taunts, fluttering his eyelashes.

  ‘Ugh, just shut up. You’re not living with me. I’d rather get evicted.’

  He writes down his number on the bill and hands it over. ‘Whatever you say, Ice Queen. Call me when you come to your senses.’

  ‘I’ll let you know when hell freezes over.’

  Tom

  Nicholas snorts. ‘There’s no way Alice is going to let you live with her.’

  I smirk. ‘Mate, not only is she going to beg to live with me, but I’ll be banging her before I move out.’

  ‘Banging her?’ Jack laughs. ‘Fuck, you’re delusional.’

  I scoff confidently. ‘Not only that, but I’ll bag her too. Get her to fall for me.’

  Nicholas creases over laughing. ‘Don’t make me die! She’d never fall for you. You’re polar opposites.’

  ‘She’ll be in my bed, begging for my cock.’

  They erupt laughing. ‘Mate,’ Jack chuckles, ‘you’ve got more chance of bagging a racoon than you have with Alice.’